Udonis Haslem could have been the author of one of the best starts in team sports history last night.
Haslem is nothing more than a mascot for the heat these days. He’s there to teach young kids about the culture and what it means to be a pro, and then the Heat always bring him out every year in the last home game to get a standing ovation from the crowd who still adore him. He’s the guy who stays at the bar after it’s closed, basically.
Which makes it particularly wonderful, if not impressive, that in what could be his last appearance in an NBA game, though still his last appearance until next year, he ejected just three minutes. understandable list of people who would likely sacrifice a lot to get into Dwight Howard, so Haslem ended his career there. Still, that’s a lot. Maybe your last NBA game, the last time you hear the crowd cheering you on, and you think you’re going to cut it short just to get Howard a point. You have to admit, it’s more memorable than playing eight minutes and getting back on the bench for good. Everywhere Haslem goes people will say, ‘Look, son, there’s the guy who ended his career telling Dwight Howard he’s an idiot. Goals in life. “
Yet where does it sit on the best ejections? It’s hard to beat Sheed … although it’s really hard to beat Sheed in any category …
Sheed only needed a minute to bounce back, but then again, Sheed can beat you in any competition you want. Fun fact: A comedian friend at the time was kicked out of Game 4 of the 2008 World Series in Philly because Sheed was sitting a few rows in front of him and spent the first six innings yelling at Sheed that he could. surpass. per pound. A. He couldn’t. B. Sheed thought it was hilarious. C. Security didn’t. So put that on the list too.
We can’t limit that to basketball of course. Here is Bryan Pryce who takes the thumb even before his Reds take the field.
Only baseball managers can hold a grudge from a previous game to the point of using the exchange of lineup cards to express their grievance. The basketball coaches were just going to get drunk on the refs. There are too many referees for football coaches to choose just one. Hockey coaches and umpires might fight, but they’ll forget it the moment everyone leaves the arena. But baseball managers… that’s quality grudge.
Here is a personal favorite:
It’s actually not that different from Haslem’s. Liverpool legend Steven Gerrard had previously announced that the 2014-2015 season would be his last, and it was the last time he would face their biggest rivals Manchester United at Anfield. He didn’t start the game, because his powers had diminished to the point that he was somehow transported to the field. He came halfway, and was so loaded and pissed off about being left out from the start that he got kicked out in 40 seconds. It’s a swan song. Anyone can just finish the 90 minutes and wave afterwards. It takes a real god to fake someone and shirk like a lasting image.
So this is the room that Haslem signed up for tonight. Congratulations.
UEFA’s COVID shenanigans
UEFA moved Champions League final from Istanbul to Porto yesterday. The game pretty much had to be shaken as Turkey is in the middle of a lockdown due to COVID and the UK does not allow residents to travel there. What kind of fear for the fans of the two English teams in the final.
But why not move it to England? Well, for perhaps the most important reason in UEFA history: the UK government would not give UEFA a quarantine waiver for all of its dignitaries, officials and sponsors, so they chose Portugal where they would.
It’s shit like this that gets us a World Cup in Qatar in the winter. Cheek on these assholes for thinking they might get quarantine waivers just because they’re big UEFA players.
UEFA is just Frasier and Niles in shock that they couldn’t get a reservation.